Things Change
by Lady Artemis
Summary: Dick Grayson never knew how much one night would change things forever. The events of that night send him on a new road in life.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer:** All characters are not owned by me and are used without permission solely for the entertainment of fan-fiction readers.

**Author's Note: **This fic is the follow-up to my story "If Only". I decided that after writing things from the "Old Wounds" episode from Barbara's perspective, it would be interesting to try to write it from Dick's point of view.

**Prologue**

It was a calm, quiet night in Gotham City. Or so it seemed. There was never a quiet night in the city of the Bat. The silence was disturbed by the roar of a motorcycle speeding through the city streets. It cut like an arrow through the night, faster and faster. The figure riding it drove with purpose, anger flaring in his eyes.

_How could they lie like this to me? How could SHE lie to me like that?_

I was so angry, it made me shake, threatening to steer me clear off the road. But I could have hardly noticed. I felt too betrayed at that point to care. I had to get away. Get away from _him_ and his rules, his hold on my life. He had betrayed my trust. Not only that, he had betrayed what he was supposed to stand for. Justice. I could see now that he was beyond that now. It was all about revenge now.

When I arrived at the cave, Alfred questioned me, but I brushed him aside and stormed up into the manor. I didn't even bother to change out of my costume. I gathered only what I needed from my room, leaving behind all my cherished items from childhood. And what kind of childhood could it be called? I had been torn from whatever childhood I could have hoped to have when my parents died. After that, all I could remember was sadness. And anger. So much anger.

Bruce had taken me in, and when I found out about his nighttime activities, I had been drawn to the simplicity of it. Taking my anger out on the criminals of the city in the name of justice, it was too good to be true. I could channel it all towards a greater good. So I became a believer of Bruce's crusade, blindly following him into nightly battle. I was so young back then, so naïve. But for me, it was the time of my life. I felt like I finally had a purpose.

But year after year it became harder. I began to see things. Things a young boy like me shouldn't have to know about. And soon my eyes were opened to the reality of this so called crusade I had become a part of. It wasn't like in the fairy tales where good prevailed against evil. No, it was far from it. In this world, there was not really a good versus evil. Sometimes good had to perform evils in order to stop it.

Was it possible to cross the line in the process? Cross that line between justice and plain old revenge, or even worse? Sometimes I wondered just how close to that thin line we were treading. There were many things I should have done differently, tried to stop, interfered somehow. But it was all easier said than done. Once certain things are set into motion, it's hard to stop them. All I could do now was wonder _what if?_

I packed just one duffle bag full of clothes and gave my room one last look over. The circus posters on the walls looked back at me, reminding me of a childhood that could have been. Memories that were long gone. The pictures by my bed were those of happy times, even if they had been tainted with the nightly dealings I participated in. Barbara's face was the one that stood out the most. It sat there, mocking me of my present situation.

I pelt a pang in my chest. _Barbara_. The betrayal was more than I could bear. She never told me. I could hardly blame her though, for I hardly been truthful to her either. But, for some reason, I had held her to a higher standard that I had myself. She had been the one pure, innocent thing in my life. And now that image of her had been shattered. Just the thought of her having to deal with the atrocities I knew lurked in the night . . . I didn't even want to imagine.

I shut the door to my room, closing the door forever on my youth and everything I had once believed in. I no longer trusted Bruce. I couldn't stand by and allow him to continue this masquerade. It was something I no longer believed in. And I certainly did not want to end up like him. Alone. I could somewhat comprehend the extent of why he was so bitter now. But at this point, I didn't really care. He didn't deserve my compassion. No, he certainly didn't.

My footsteps echoed through the main hall as I exited the manor. I hardly gave Alfred a second glance, though it pained me to do so. It was truly admirable, the way he stood by Bruce. He had never waivered in his loyalty to the man he had raised from a boy. It only made me wonder if he knew the truths about what Bruce did at night. But that still didn't excuse me leaving without saying goodbye to him. But it had to be done. He could easily persuade me to stay. And _that_ was something I could not do.

I walked down the long driveway of Wayne Manor, taking in my final moments in the place I had called home for so long. I had left my Robin costume discarded on my bed, not even bothering to fold it neatly as Alfred had taught me. I sighed as I reached my bike and started the engine. The mask was probably still on the rooftop where the end had occured. The end of Robin and the end of my time here in Gotham City. I gave one final glance back at the beautiful estate before speeding out the main gate.

That night changed my life. There were so many emotions that I never thought I could feel. It all happened so fast, sometimes I can't believe it. But it _did_ happen, and there's nothing I can do about it. Things change.


	2. The Beginning of the End

**Disclaimer:** All characters are not owned by me and are used without permission solely for the entertainment of fan-fiction readers.

**Author's Note:** Dick recalls the events that ultimately led to his departure from Gotham City and casting aside his role as Robin.

**Chapter 1****:** **The Beginning of the End**

Things had been strained between Bruce and me for a while. True, we had never always seen eye to eye, but lately, it had gotten worse. And it wasn't even just about his colossal need to control every move I made as Robin. It had been more the fact that Batman was becoming more and more the person he was, and Bruce Wayne was slowly becoming a sorry excuse of an alter ego.

In my youth, Bruce had been very dedicated to my education. He had sent me to the finest schools, both academically and for the purposes of fine tuning my "other" skills. He had been very strict in his policy that I would not go out on the streets until he felt I was prepared. And his expectations were high, so you can imagine how long it had taken to satisfy him.

Those first few months I had donned the mask of Robin had been like everything I had dreamed it to be. Doesn't every young boy only dream about becoming a super hero and fighting the bad guys? I may not have been a super hero, but never the less, I was happier than I had been in a long time. Being a vigilante had given me hope in the world once again.

Day in and day out, I would eat, breathe, dream, and live for the next night and the next adventure in store for Batman and Robin. And Bruce encouraged it wholeheartedly. Perhaps it had been the breath of fresh air that I as a young boy brought to the every night toils I did not fully comprehend. I had no idea at that point. Not yet at least.

When the incident with Tony Zucco had come around, I was already well into adolescence, about fifteen years old at the time. It had brought back hard memories, and I had felt something I had never known before . . . the sweet taste of revenge. It had shed _some_ light to Bruce's reasoning behind the mask. But I still believed in his fight for justice. How wrong I had been.

Justice can be interpreted in many ways. Bruce's interpretation of justice was that the bad guys always had to pay. They had to pay dearly for their crimes against the city. Every single criminal in Gotham City was paying for the sins committed against Bruce's parents ten fold.

As I began college, I realized that Bruce's commitment to justice was not as I had once thought it to be. True, he did catch the criminals and hand them over to Arkham, but many times he had to hold himself back from crossing the line. And there had been a few times when he had crossed it.

When time finally came for me to graduate, at one of the most important moments of my life, Bruce had not attended. That had showed me that he was truly lost to the mask. The fact that he barely showed interest in his _son_ anymore and would only converse with me when we were in costume, spoke volumes. He was no longer the Bruce I had known as a young boy, eager to show me the way.

The product of this was rebellion. I began to fight his suffocating hold on me and Robin. I would avoid him on patrol, or go off on my own many times. He would yell and try to law down the law, his law. But I would only push him farther away and my anger grew. It all kept building up until one night when we were cashing the Joker.

We had uncovered a plot of his to ransom the city using some sort of contraption that would destroy the city if used. We tracked him down to a warehouse near the docks and had attacked. Somehow, things went wrong and the Joker escaped. But, Batman had sent me to follow one of his henchmen for leads. But he led me back to his house where his wife and child were awaiting him.

I hesitated to continue my investigation when Batman arrived and crashed into his home. Blinded by his determination to catch the Joker, he had roughly questioned the man _in front_ of his family. His son had tried to stand up for his father, but Batman had brushed him aside. I was outraged.

"Don't do this . . . not here, not like _this_", I had pleaded.

Batman had ignored me, continuing with his interrogation.

I couldn't watch anymore, "Fine! I'm out of here!"

And I had vanished into the night, leaving behind a fuming Batman.

Back at the cave, he had yelled and lectured me, but I was beyond caring anymore. I didn't want to hear it. Words were exchanged, tempers flared, and I walked out.

I had gone to Barbara, hoping to express my frustrations to her. But once again I had been hesitant. How could I explain to her what I was going through without revealing my secret?

"What's wrong Dick? You can talk to me", she had said.

_If only I had listened to her._

Overwhelmed by my inability to communicate my feelings to her, I had stormed out, leaving a very confused Barbara behind.

I had gone back to my dorm room to think. I knew that it would be impossible for Bruce and I to talk out our differences. We were way beyond that now. I knew I could never accept how he dealt with our nighttime activities any longer. What to do? I lay there pondering my predicament, trying to find a possible solution.

At that point, picking up and leaving was the last thing from my mind. I couldn't leave Barbara alone. She was the one thing keeping me sane. She was the only person who could understand me, even though she didn't know half of what I was really going through. She was the only one who bothered to try. She loved me. And I had loved her.

If only I had known that was the beginning of the end for me. I wouldn't have believed it then.

- - - -

I know it's not very long, but I just wanted to get the story started. The chapters to come will get more in depth with character interactions and action. R&R!

- Lady Artemis -


	3. Old Wounds

**Disclaimer:** All characters are not owned by me and are used without permission solely for the entertainment of fan-fiction readers.

**Author's Note:** Dick recalls the events that ultimately led to his departure from Gotham City and casting aside his role as Robin.

**Chapter 2****:** **Old Wounds**

"NO!"

I screamed as I watched her falling from the rooftop. My heart stopped as I realized the height of her fall and the reality of it. She would surely die upon impact. My stomach felt sick at this thought. I couldn't believe this was happening.

_Barbara._

I desperately looked around for any course of action I could hope to take. My eyes landed on the 'emergency' button. I tore off my helmet and slammed the button down. The driver's seat of my motorcycle flew into the air, propelled by the rockets that had been installed to save its occupant in the event of a crash. It was her only hope to survive.

The wind flew in my face and I squinted my eyes so I could see her body clearly. She was clearly unconscious, her limp form falling through the air. I had to be accurate, for any mistake now would cost her life. I positioned myself beneath her and prepared myself for the impact.

Her body slammed into me, but I firmly wrapped my arm around her waist. At the same time, I shot off my grappling hook, securing the line. It swung us over the street and onto the adjacent building. It was a smooth landing and all I felt was relief for all of my senses. I had forgotten all the anger I had felt only moments before.

Before me, on unsteady feet was Barbara. Or should I say Batgirl. Only minutes beforehand, I had discovered her secret. I hadn't even had the time to react to this newly discovered information, let alone form any feelings about it.

- - - -

I had driven back to the manor the morning after my late night visit to Barbara's apartment. I was hoping to maybe talk things out with Bruce, even thought, deep down, I knew it was pointless.

As I drove up the driveway, I spotted Barbara's familiar black Volkswagen. I instantly perked up to discover she was there. I wanted to apologize for my behavior the night before. I rang the bell at the manor, but nobody came to answer.

That was weird, Alfred _never_ missed the doorbell. Puzzled, I pulled out my keys from my pocket and let myself in. Once inside, I searched the entire manor, but there was no sign of anyone in it. Not even Barbara.

_Where could they be? _

Curios, I tried calling her cell phone, but only got voicemail. I tried Bruce as well, but again, no answer. Baffled, I made my way over to the old grandfather clock in the drawing room. I quickly made my way down the dark stairs into the Batcave. I was surprised to find Alfred at the computer.

"Alfred, I saw Barbara's car parked out front. But I couldn't find her or Bruce in the manor. Do you know where they are?" I asked.

Alfred stood up and gaze me a meaningful look, "They're at a meeting Master Richard".

It was then that I noticed the Batmobile was missing. My eyes narrowed.

"What _kind_ of meeting?"

Moments later I had found myself in costume and flying through the streets of Gotham, my cape flying in the wind. Only one thought kept flashing in my mind.

_How could they?_

- - - -

Dazed, Batgirl had avoided my glare.

"Thanks", she said weakly, offering me an awkward half-smile.

She had turned to leave, pulling her grappling hook out.

_How can she act like nothing had happened? _

I grabbed her arm and pulled her to face me.

"Wait, we need to talk", I said.

I was desperate for answers. She needed to tell me. She gave me a long look and opened her mouth. Thinking twice about it, she closed it before the words came out, glancing at the building above us.

"Not now, _he _needs us".

There was no doubt as to who _he_ was. Bruce. Batman. Anger shadowed my face. It was at the moment that the betrayal sank in. It was _his_ fault. But shotguns from the rooftop brought me back to reality and I gave her a quick nod, pulling out my own grappling hook.

I fired it before she even had a chance to acknowledge without as much as a glance back.

On the rooftop, the fighting was still underway. Batgirl had jumped straight back into battle, while I had surveyed the scene before assessing my first move. I jumped towards a cluster of henchmen, wary of the hyenas on the loose. After taking care of those, I glanced towards Batgirl, and saw that she needed a hand.

I knocked a guy down just before he was going to grab her from behind. I pulled her up from the ground she had been knocked to.

"Are you okay?" I asked, concerned.

"I'm fine", she said flatly.

I heard yelling and turned to see the Joker pointing a machine gun at the two of us and Batman throwing himself at the clown in order to stop him. He managed to tackle the Joker to the ground, but not without the gun shooting off several rounds.

I grabbed Batgirl by the arm and threw her out of harms way. I threw myself into a somersault, landing near the ledge.

It was all over quickly after that.

- - - -

We stayed until the police came, cuffed, and carted them all off to Arkham. The whole time, we stood in silence. Dawn was nearly upon the city and a cool breeze swept over the rooftops, catching our capes.

The tension was so great between us all I could feel it pulsing through my veins. I caught a glimpse of Batgirl's face and the anger flooded back to me. I turned to her.

"Batgirl. I can't believe it. How could you keep something like this from me?" I said accusingly.

Hurt flashed across her eyes at my tone. It quickly vanished.

"You weren't exactly honest either", she said, pointing at the 'R' on my chest.

I gave Batman an icy look before turning back to her.

"But you told _him_", I growled, pointing at the bat.

"He already knew!" she defended.

I knew it was true. Bruce always found out everything. Why wouldn't he know about this too? But I was too angry for reason at the moment. I turned to Batman.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I demanded.

Batman didn't even flinch, "It wasn't my place to tell you", he replied calmly.

How could he be so calm? My world was crashing down around me and he was calm!

"But it was your place to put her in danger".

Batgirl stepped closer to me and put a hand on my arm. Her touch felt reassuring.

"It wasn't like that. I volunteered", she explained.

I stared angrily at Batman.

"You think you did. You don't know him like I do. He manipulates. Pulls strings. Anything to get what he wants", I snapped.

I pulled away from her. How could she defend him? She looked frightened at my outburst and I felt a pang of guilt. Then Batman stepped towards me.

"I thought we had the same goals", he said in a different tone.

He was no longer addressing me as Batman. This was Bruce talking now. I was looking at them both now like if they had two heads. It was them against me. She was on his side.

"Things change. I changed. The game's over _Batman_. I quit", I sneered.

Bruce had tried to stop me, grabbing for my arm. But I turned around, all the anger I had been holding back boiling over, and before I knew it, I had punched him square in the jaw. He felt to the ground with a loud thud.

I heard Batgirl gasp behind me. I turned to look at her, but she backed away. The look she gave me was like I was a stranger, like she didn't know me. I turned away from her.

I ripped off my mask and cape, throwing them at Bruce's feet. I turned away and stormed to the ledge, pulling out a grappling hook. I gave Barbara one final glance before diving off the rooftop.

- - - -

**Read and Review please.**

**- Lady Artemis - **


	4. Decisions

**Disclaimer:** All characters are not owned by me and are used without permission solely for the entertainment of fan-fiction readers.

**Author's Note:** Dick makes an important decision that will take him down a lonely road and away from Gotham City.

**Chapter 3:** **Decisions**

Anger and hurt throbbed through me as I drove my bike away from the manor. I had been so determined to leave Gotham earlier, but now I was beginning to have my doubts. I had to admit, I was scared. Where would I go? How would I survive? But they were ridiculous questions.

Had I not been trained by the world's greatest detective? Had he not prepared me for the inevitable, the unthinkable, and the inconceivable? I knew that I wherever I ended up, I would survive. That had been what I was trained for . . . surviving.

I pushed back my emotions, burying them deep down inside. Bruce had taught me that emotions only got in the way. I needed to think, strategize now. I had to stop at my dorm room to get some final things.

I pulled up to Gotham U and made my way to the back of the campus, where the dormitories were. It took me a few moments to park my bike and make my way into the building. Inside, I added more clothes to my duffle bad, along with my passport, money, and other documents. Time was of the essence, so everything was done quickly and efficiently. After a few minutes, everything was done, and it was time to depart.

After locking my room's door, I made my way down the hallway and into the stairwell. I was suddenly stopped by the sound of running footsteps in the hallway. Remaining in the stairwell, I peeked around the door to see a female figure running up to my room's door. She pounded on the door frantically, her red hair falling over her face.

"Dick! _Please_, open the door . . ." she pleaded.

Barbara. I felt an urge to go to her and hold her in my arms, but my anger and pride wouldn't let me. I could only think of what she had done, how she had lied to me. She was on his side. But even then, I still loved her. And yet, I resisted the urge.

_I was a fool._

Instead, I stood there, watching as she became more desperate, panic growing on her features. After a while, her knocking became more feeble and she crumbled to the ground, sobbing.

"Dick . . . please . . . I'm so sorry", she repeated over and over.

I couldn't stand the sight of her crying like that, but instead of going to her side, I left. Bruce had taught me well. Emotions only got in the way. I had made my decision.

- - - -

Gotham looked so small. I stared at it from my window as the plane flew father and farther away from it. It had been my home for so long. It had been harder than I thought, leaving it all behind. But it had to be done. It was the only way I could break free of Bruce and become my own man. My only regret was . . . her.

I know I had my reasons, good reasons. She had lied to me, betrayed my trust, and she had sided with Bruce. She didn't deserve my forgiveness. Did she? Even through all my anger, I still loved her. It had to be real. We had been ourselves, even if we hadn't been completely truthful with one another. If it wasn't real then why did it hurt so much? But did she love me, even after knowing my deepest secret? She of all people could understand my dark truth now. She could put all the pieces together about the problems in our relationship.

This trip would give me all the answers I needed. I needed to know who I was, what kind of man I would be. Would I be able to find myself? I needed to know I could survive without Bruce's constant protection. I had to know that I could survive without Batman, without being Robin anymore. Robin was dead, that much I knew. There would be no going back to that. I needed to form a new identity. It was time to grow up.

But more importantly, would I be able to survive without her? Knowing that she was out there every night, doing things I shuddered to think about. Surely she knew the risks involved with our job. Maybe she was still in love with the fantasy of it. But I knew better.

There was nothing pretty about being out there every night, not knowing what to expect. Then there was the blood on your hands . . . the faces haunting you. It wasn't easy. That why I had to get away. I had to get away from all of it. Of course I was angry at Barbara, but that didn't mean I didn't love her anymore. I just hope that she wouldn't forget that.

_I should have told her. I should have said good-bye._

It was an awful mistake, one that I would have to live with. It was too late now . . . much too late to go back. I was on my way to a new life, where Bruce or Barbara didn't exist. I was on my way to Japan.

- - - -

I walked down a quiet path, surrounded by trees and water. There were so much water in Tokyo. Something about keeping away evil spirits and cleansing the soul. The traditional architecture gave the setting an even more exciting air. It made me feel like I belonged here, just knowing some of the people that had walked through these gardens.

As I continued down the path, several students passed by me, wearing traditional _judogi_ garments. Several of them gave me respectful nods of the head with a kind smile, while others just glared at me as they walked right by. Some people just don't know how to lose.

Many famous _senseis_ taught here at the school. It had no name and there were no directions or trace of it. You didn't choose to go to this school. They choose you. I had been living in Tokyo for about four months, going to some average _dojos_ before I had been contacted. A few days later I had found myself here at the school.

Nobody has ever been able to find the school on their own, so leaving is also out of the question. So there was really no escape from your classes or classmates. I didn't even know how I got there really. All I know what that one day I had gone to sleep in my small room in Tokyo and the next day I had awoken in on of the school's dormitories.

Everything was very traditional, following all the appropriate etiquette associated with Japanese culture. Kneeling bows were required at the beginning and end of every lesson and standing bows were required at the beginning and end of every sparring match.

I refreshed my techniques in judo and karate, and was introduced to the new disciplines of _Aikido_, _Bersilat_, and _Capoeira_. All very specific and complicated, but with the right instruction, they were not too difficult to learn. After years of training with Bruce, nothing seemed too hard for me.

I spent a whole year there, never leaving the grounds once. The only ones who left the school were those who had either completed their time there or those who had given up and failed. Many of my fellow classmates fell into both of those categories, and I began to wonder how long they would keep me there. I realize now that I had more to learn than simply new fighting techniques. I had to learn to trust myself and not rely on others as I had done for so many years. It was a different kind of training for the one Bruce had given me. He had taught me to rely on a partner, to work as a team, and to always be wary of the enemy.

Here I was taught to rely only on myself, to work only with myself, and to have no need to be wary of the enemy, because you were taught to anticipate every move and be two steps ahead of them. It was a whole new way of thinking, moving, and living. Everything had a reason, but we weren't always told the reason, we had to figure it out for ourselves. It was mental training as well.

When one year finally came around, the _sensei_ met with me and told me I had finally fulfilled my mission. They also told me that questions left unanswered were to be sought out before a return could be attempted. Whatever that meant. I was ready to go home to Gotham.

Once I was back in Tokyo though, I began to have some doubts. I didn't know if I was ready. I decided I needed to wait longer. My interest had been sparked and I decided to see more of the world. I made arrangements to fly to Europe, and I soon found myself backpacking along an ancient pilgrimage path in Spain.

After that I visited Italy, Germany, France, and England. I found more teachers, masters at obscure fighting techniques, always eager to learn. I learned fencing, dagger throwing, flame throwing, shooting, and rock climbing, among other things. When I was done with Europe, I heard about a certain new technique of judo in Brazil, and off I went. I also managed to see Chile and Argentina, always following rumors of ground breaking movements in fighting.

Another year passed and I realized that I had put off my return for much longer than I had anticipated. It had been over two years now since I had left. I had gained much needed knowledge, skill, and most importantly confidence in myself. It was time to go back. Back to Gotham City.

- - - -

I was once again struck by how small Gotham seemed. As the plane approached, I could only think about how much it had changed in the two years I had been gone. But it still seemed so small. Such a small city for such big problems. Who knows what kind of problems had happened while I was gone. I hadn't bothered to even find out or keep in touch. No, that would have been a mistake. It would have been a distraction.

I pulled out my wallet and traced my finger over the small picture of Barbara in it. The picture worn and torn at the edges from all the times I had taken it out to look at. She was the only distraction I had allowed myself. I needed to know why I was doing all of this after all. I knew now the grave mistake I had made at misjudging her. It wasn't her fault. None of this was her fault. It wasn't even Bruce's fault. It had just been time.

Hopefully now I would be able to make amends. I didn't think Bruce and I would ever be able to see eye to eye again, and I may never be able to forgive him completely, but he was the only family I had. I had to at least try to make things right between us. It would be hard, he was as stubborn as they came. Oh would it be hard. Harder still would be to somehow let Barbara know how sorry I was. She probably hated me for leaving like I did.

This was going to be rough.

- - - -

**Sorry for the delay, but it's hard to get inspired these days. Hope you enjoy. The good stuff starts next chapter.**

**- Lady Artemis -**


	5. Homecoming

**Disclaimer:** All characters are not owned by me and are used without permission solely for the entertainment of fan-fiction readers.

**Author's Note:** Dick doesn't receive the welcoming he expected. Surprises and complications arise from his return.

**Chapter 4:** **Homecoming**

I was nervous. Sitting in the cab, all I could think about was why I was doing this. Of all the things to do, all the other places I could go first. Barbara's apartment crossed my mind, but I had a pretty good hunch she wasn't there. Knowing Bruce, he probably had her working on some case in the cave. So that's why I now found myself on my way to Wayne Manor. I shivered at the thought.

I couldn't even imagine what I would say to either of them. Bruce would be stoic and silent as always. And Barbara . . . well, I didn't know how she would react. I would expect her to be angry and resentful. Yes, she would be very angry. I would have to be prepared for a very cold reception.

The cabbie dropped me off at the front gate and I waited for him to drive off. Sighing, I threw my duffle bag over the gate and then climbed over it. Just like the good old days when I would sneak out to go to the very few parties I managed to make it to during my high school years. I had met Barbara my sophomore year of high school, but we didn't start dating until college.

I shook my head, now wasn't the time to reminisce. It was time to face the music. Slinging my duffle bad over a shoulder, I walked briskly up the drive towards the Manor. Once at the main door, I thought about whether I should knock or not. I still had my key, so I could slip in unnoticed. Either way, the outcome would be the same. I decided to use the key and at least buy me some time to prepare.

After letting myself in, I found the manor to be seemingly empty. That only met one thing. They were _all_ in the cave. Great. I had hoped to maybe find Bruce alone, but no such luck. I reached out at the grandfather clock, my fingers feeling the familiar touch of the smooth wood. Before I knew it, I was at the stairs to the cave. I remembered having walked down these steps so many times.

I made my way down, but the cave seemed to be empty too. That's when I heard it . . . the sounds of two people fighting in the other room. This was it. He was definitely not alone. I took in a deep breath before walking into the practice room. The sparring ring was up and I could see several figures in the room. That surprised me. I had figured to find just him and Barbara down here.

My gaze saw Bruce, wearing his judoka and black belt, lowering himself into a fighting stance. But he wasn't fighting Barbara. A young boy stood facing him in the ring, cautiously watching Bruce's every move. He was only a yellow belt, the beginner's belt. I stared. This only meant one thing. He had found someone to replace me. I felt more hurt than I thought I would.

My eyes swept across the room to the two other figures. Alfred stood by the ring, carrying a tray with glassed and a pitcher of water. There was a clean towel draped over each of his arms. Good old Alfred. I stiffened at the sigh of the person accompanying him. Barbara. She was still as beautiful as ever. Her red hair pulled back into a ponytail, away from her stunningly green eyes. I sucked in a breath.

Neither of them had noticed me. Their full attention was on the match going on in the ring. I suddenly felt out of place, like if I had walked in on a family event. I saddened me and I felt the urge to leave, but Bruce's voice cut through my thoughts.

"Watch your left side, your defense is weak on that side", Bruce pointed out to the young boy.

I watched as the young boy tried with great effort to knock Bruce over, but he was easily stopped, and soon found himself lying on his back. Bruce towered over him.

"If you are going to work with me, Tim, you follow the rules. Rule number one, you give me everything you have. Rule number two, then you give me more. And rule number three, I make the rules".

If anyone else had seen this, they would have thought it was some twisted sort of initiation. But I knew better. The poor kid. Tim was it? Before I knew it, my voice was speaking for itself.

"Watch that last rule, kid . . . it's a killer".

I heard a gasp from Barbara. Bruce's head snapped in my direction. The boy, Tim, looked at me curiously. Alfred was beaming.

"Master Richard!" the old man called out.

It only took me a few seconds to notice the tension in the air. I should have known that a warm welcome was too much to expect. I stared at Barbara, waiting for her reaction. But she just stared back at me, shock etched lightly on her face. I decided to end the awkward silence.

"Hello Bruce", my eyes never left her.

Bruce showed no signs of a reaction, "Hello Dick".

I turned to face Barbara and said "Hey Babs" in a gentler tone.

She was quiet for a moment before finally speaking.

"Hello Dick", the tone was casual, not even a hint of friendliness to it.

My felt myself deflate. I had still been hoping that at least _she_ would have been more understanding. I expected this much from Bruce. But not from her. It was hard for me to handle, the nonchalant attitude she had. Like if I had been away on holiday.

"How have you been? It's been a while", she continued.

Did she expect me to answer that? She was being rather rude, and hurtful. But I couldn't blame her. I had been hurtful too.

"I'm doing good".

"Good to hear that", she replied crisply.

She turned to Bruce, "Maybe I should leave you two alone to talk?"

He nodded.

Then it happened.

In one quick stride, Barbara went up to Bruce and laid a small kiss on his cheek. She turned back to me, her green eyes holding my icy blue gaze.

"Maybe I'll be seeing you around?" she asked in fake politeness.

I gave Bruce a very cold stare, "Maybe", I muttered.

"See you around then", she said trying to sound pleasant.

"Yeah, see you around".

- - - -

"I see you didn't lose much time finding a replacement".

Bruce remained motionless, "It's been two years. I waited long enough".

I snorted, "Don't hold your breath, I didn't come back to be Robin again"

Still no emotion, "He needed a home and protection"

"Just like I did?" I asked.

He remained silent.

I sighed, "I didn't come here to fight with you".

"Do you plan on staying long? Or is this just a friendly visit?" his voice dripped with sarcasm.

"I don't know", I answered.

He gave me a questioning glare, "You don't know?'

I felt myself flinch under his gave. Some things never change.

"Look, I came here to tell you that I was back in town. I don't know for how long. I'm renting a loft by the docks for now. I'm going to see how things work out and then maybe I'll find something more permanent", I explained.

"Why don't you stay at the Manor?"

I glared at him darkly, "I thought you'd know why".

Bruce seemed taken aback by my tone. But he controlled it quickly. He studied my face for a few seconds before he realized my suggestion.

"It's not like that".

I was fuming, "Like hell it isn't!"

Bruce remained quiet after my outburst.

"I'm a big boy Bruce, I can handle the truth. Don't think I expected her to wait for me all this time. Not after the way I treated her before I left", I replied solemnly.

I was a little surprised at myself for being so candid with Bruce. But I was angry and the words were just spilling out of my mouth.

It was quiet for a long time before Bruce spoke.

"When you left, it destroyed her. It was like her spirit had been broken. For two years, she kept going downhill. I finally made her see that she had to move on."

Was this supposed to make me feel better? Because it certainly wasn't. It was making me feel worse. Much worse. I felt like an asshole. I was scared to dig further, but I needed to know.

"When did you . . . when did this _relationship_ happen?" I asked.

Bruce raised an eyebrow, "I told you, there is nothing between us".

He didn't need to hide the truth from me. It annoyed me that he thought I couldn't handle it. He could just tell me. I wasn't going to stop them. She made her choice. But, I had also made a choice too. It should have known she would have found another . . . but Bruce? Was she _trying_ to hurt me?

"You don't have to lie to me Bruce", I snapped.

I looked up at him angrily, "What happened that she felt that she had to go to you?"

I could tell he was fed up with my accusations. He towered over me, his eyes menacing.

"She finally accepted that you weren't coming back!"

His voice shook the cave.

I was outraged, desperate in my attempt to make sense out of this all.

"But I _did_ come back!"

Bruce remained silent.

"I came back", I whispered to myself.

More silence.

"Why Bruce?" I asked hoarsely.

No answer.

Angrily, I spoke up, "Fine! You can have her! You always get what you want anyways, don't you?"

I stormed away from the room and the cave.

- - - -

"Is he so much better?" I asked quietly.

Barbara looked taken aback, "What?"

I glared at her, "IS. HE. SO. MUCH. BETTER?"

Her eyes narrowed at me, I could feel her anger towards me. The pleasantness she had been trying to maintain had vanished. All the resentment she had been holding against me for the past two years. I knew she would be angry.

"He's better than someone who leaves without saying good-bye and doesn't even send a post card for TWO YEARS! Two years Dick! For two years I worried if you were all right. For two years I kept hoping you would come back! But I got tired of hoping Dick; I was tired of chasing a shadow! At least he doesn't run away when things get bad!"

She had turned away, looking out the window.

I laughed out loud, "That goes to show how well you know him. He doesn't run away, he just pushes everyone away! He did it to me, he'll do it to you, and god knows if he's done it to Alfred. It's only a matter of time. And I'm not sticking around for it!"

She whirled around to face me, "At least he's not a coward".

That hurt. I saw that she regretted the words. But only for a second before the anger returned to her eyes.

"So that's what you think of me then", I stated.

She didn't know how to respond to that.

"I hope you're happy with him", I said, walking to the main entrance.

Barbara seemed to snap out of a daze. Her face grew red and embarrassed. Then a look of horror crossed her face.

"Dick you don't understand. You have this all wrong", she pleaded.

I stared at her, "Like hell I do. Save me the drama. I'll let myself out".

I left a bewildered Barbara behind as I stormed out, slamming the front door behind me.

"That wasn't amusing Barbara", growled Bruce.

- - - -

**This chapter reflects a lot on my other story "If Only". I also took out and added some things to not make it seem too repetitive. The next chapter may still repeat some scenes but not as much. Read & Review.**

**- Lady Artemis - **


	6. Boy Wonder No More

**Disclaimer:** All characters are not owned by me and are used without permission solely for the entertainment of fan-fiction readers.

**Author's Note:** Dick and Barbara figure things out.

**Chapter 5:** **Boy Wonder No More**

It had been too much to take in at once. My head was spinning as I arrived at the loft I had acquired in Gotham. It had been a simple transaction to make while I had been in Tokyo. But then I went off to South America and had to put it off for another year. Luckily, the loft was still on the market when I had finally decided to return to Gotham. Maybe I should have stayed away.

How could he have a new Robin? The boy, Tim, he was so young. But, I had been much younger. Merely twelve years old. Although Bruce had never let me out on patrol until I was thirteen. This boy had to be fourteen or fifteen at least. It just hurt me that he never assumed that I would come back to retake my place as his partner. Not that I wanted it anymore. I had stopped being Robin two years ago, probably even longer than that.

But I was being selfish. Just because I didn't want to be Robin didn't mean that nobody else did. It would only be natural for me to think that anyone who did take my place would not be good enough. I was starting to sound like Bruce. Thinking about standards and expectations. I used to hate thinking about those things. It was all I could think about now. I had my own standards to live up to now.

And then there was Barbara. Her betrayal was much greater than that of two years ago. I couldn't hold _that_ against her anymore. It had been too long ago. This new betrayal was much deeper, more hurtful than any secrets she could have kept from me. The thought of her with _him_, it made me shudder. This was a nightmare.

The only thing that had ever helped when I was stressed out was going on patrol. But I couldn't do that. I wasn't ready yet. Well, I _was_, but I didn't want to run into any of _them_. It was a shame, after all the preparations I had gone through. I admit, I had been actually excited about something again. It was just as good as when I had been Robin, maybe even better. I couldn't let them ruin my fun.

It had been more difficult than I expected . . . finding a new identity. I needed to get away from anything bat related, but still use something that could strike fear in the enemy. It was vital that I create a new persona that would mirror my transformation. At first I had thought about a phoenix, rising from the ashes of my past. But, somehow it had felt to unrealistic. I wasn't a superhero. We left _that_ stuff to Clark.

Then it had occurred to me, perhaps I shouldn't use any image in particular. It was the _name_ that was important. And then I remembered something I had learned in Japan. The _sensei_ had always been adamant about using the cover of nightfall to one's advantage. One must embrace the night, they had said. In a line of work such as mine, it would only make sense to make a tribute to the night in my new name.

I couldn't just call myself 'Night' though, it needed more to it. Thinking about my journey to where I was now, I had to acknowledge the important role that my time as Robin had played in my formation. Not only had it been a huge part of me for so long, but it had helped me realize the path I needed to take to the present. I was a better man now for it, and as much as I wished to deny it, Bruce had played a big part in that too.

Now, 'Night Robin' didn't sound too intimidating to me, so I would have to consider other way to pay tribute to the namesake. Robin had been the name my mother had given to me. It had started when I had saved her from a mishap on the trapeze one day during practice. According to her, I had swooped in like a Robin to save her. She had said that when I caught her, it had felt like flying. What does one think of when flying? _Wings_. Aha! It was then that the answer came to me clearly.

Nightwing.

It had a nice ring to it. I liked it. Short and sweet. Of course, the name would have to build a reputation for itself, but I wasn't worried about that. I was more than ready. All the training and learning I had done the past two years would help with that.

The suit would be another matter entirely.

- - - -

**A few weeks later . . .**

I had been on patrol for a few hours now. It irritated me that they were avoiding me. Maybe it was for the best, it would save us all the awkwardness of the situation. But it was still irritating. Were they trying to hide from me? I laughed. Bruce wasn't one to try and smooth things over. No, _he_ wasn't the one avoiding me. Barbara was. Well, maybe I should pay her a little visit.

It wasn't hard to find her. She was even more predictable as Batgirl because I knew all too well the way Bruce pounded the concept of routines. The Gotham International building was one of her nightly haunts. It provided the perfect vantage point to view most of the city. It didn't take me long to get there.

There she was. Batgirl. I tried to sneak up on her, but apparently Bruce had taught her well. She kicked out and knocked me over. Soon, I was pinned to the ground, her full weight on top of me. She looked so angry.

I put my hand up in surrender, "Hey! Babs, it's me!"

Her face relaxed at my voice. She shifted some of her weight of my chest.

"Dick?" she whispered.

"No, it's the Queen of England. Of course it's me!"

Her eyes narrowed at my sarcasm. I sighed.

"Could you please get off me?"

She realized her position on top of me and scrambled to her feet, turning around to help me up to mine. I noticed her eyeing my suit. I allowed a small grin, but she didn't notice. She was still studying the suit.

"Who are you supposed to be?" she asked, her eyes still on me.

"Can't you tell?" I joked.

But she was serious.

"Nightwing".

"Goes with the suit", she said.

I eyed her, "That was the idea".

A long, awkward silence followed. Batgirl shifted uncomfortably before moving to leave, reaching for her grappling hook.

"Babs, wait", I said.

She whirled around at me, "Don't call me _that_ out here. You know the rules".

I grabbed her arm, "You have to know some things".

She pulled her arm out of my grasp, "Now is not the time".

"I _need_ to tell you this", I pleaded.

Her gaze softened, but she still looked reluctant.

"Babs . . . please".

She looked at the ground before nodding. Then she motioned me to follow her.

"Not here, let's go to my apartment".

I followed her to our bikes.

- - - -

**Barbara's apartment . . .**

After climbing in Barbara's window, we found ourselves in her kitchen, eyeing each other uncomfortably. We were both still in costume, but I had removed my mask and she her cowl. I was sitting on one of her kitchen stools and Barbara was leaning by the kitchen sink.

"So, what do you _have_ to tell me?" she asked suddenly.

I sighed, trying to find the right words. Maybe there weren't any right words for this. How do you apologize for breaking somebody's heart? How can you say you're sorry for abandoning them? It wasn't that simple. I had to explain.

"Babs, I never meant to hurt you. I would never do anything to hurt you, honestly", I began.

Barbara cut me off quickly, "Somehow I remember you leaving and I have a hard time believing that".

She was angry. I had expected it. I had to make her understand.

"Don't you know why I left?"

Barbara sighed, "I know that you and Bruce were having problems. After that night, it all made sense, all those nights you showed up upset at my door. I knew something was terribly wrong, but I never tried to find out until that day".

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"The night before, when you showed up here, you were so angry. And then you looked so desperate to tell me, but you held back. You always held back, I remember that. That night, I finally decided to do something".

She stood up and moved towards the table, avoiding my gaze.

She gripped the table with her gloved hands, "The next day, I went to the manor. I was going to talk to Bruce and get to the bottom of what was bothering you so much. I couldn't bear to see you hurting like that. It was like you became someone else. It makes sense now, but it didn't then and it was hurting both of us".

"Hurting us?" I questioned.

She turned her head towards me, "Dick, you can't sit there and tell me that we weren't growing apart. Everyday I wondered if it would be my last with you. It was only a matter of time. The rift was bigger each day".

It that what she thought? It wasn't a rift with her. My rift was with Bruce.

But she continued sadly, "When I got to the manor, Bruce was there. I asked him so many questions, I don't think I could remember half of them. Of course, he didn't answer any of them, but he realized my concern for you. He tried to calm me down, give me some piece of mind. But I wouldn't stop. I was so worried about you Dick. It broke my heart to see you like that".

I couldn't believe this. She had gone to Bruce? She had tried to find out what was bothering me. She had loved me. I felt like an idiot.

"Babs, I . . ."

"_Don't_", she snapped.

I was surprised by her tone. Barbara has always been calm and collected. Sure, she would get angry, but she would never allow it to make her irrational. She never lashed out like this. But, I realized I had been gone for two years. Things change. She changed. It was my fault.

She stared at the wooden table top with hard eyes, "Bruce took me down into the cave. I asked him why. He _knew_. He knew I was Batgirl. He told me. And suddenly everything made sense. Every time you were late for a date, all the times you stood me up, and all the anger, the helplessness. I finally understood. I understood because I had been the same. And it had consumed my life so much that I had to give it up. But I was willing to put it all on the line again if it meant helping you".

Wait, so she didn't tell Bruce she was Batgirl. He _knew_? Of course he knew. He was Bruce. He _always_ knew.

"I didn't know", I said softly.

"Well you didn't really bother to find out did you? You just up and left . . . for _two years_. Two years without as much as a phone call or a post card!"

I took a step towards her, "It wasn't about you Barbara. It was never about you. It was about Bruce. Our relationship was no longer on good terms. We were fighting all the time. He kept trying to control me. And when I saw you there with him that night, I thought it was another way he was trying to control me. I thought he _made_ you go that night".

She glared at me, "I _begged_ him to let me go. I had to tell you face to face. I didn't want you to hear it from him. I thought you would understand. Obviously you didn't. You never even said good-bye!"

So the truth is revealed. Bruce didn't coerce her to go that night. She went to tell me the truth. And I had thrown it back in her face. _I_ was the one who had betrayed her. I was so incredibly stupid. How could I treat someone I was supposed to love like that?

I walked up and grabbed her hand, "I'm so sorry Barbara. I know you probably won't be able to forgive me, but I am so very sorry. I never knew what really happened. And I know that's no excuse, but it's the truth. I only left to get away from Batman, from being Robin, and all the expectations. I had to find out for myself what I wanted. I couldn't live in his shadow anymore".

Barbara looked at me for a very long time. Then she nodded and looked down at her hand, which I had tightly gripped in mine. My face grew red in embarrassment, and I released her.

She stepped back from me, "I don't know if I will ever be able to completely forgive you Dick. But, I do know that I miss a certain boy wonder very much. It hasn't been the same without him. I know it's going to be hard, but I think we can be friends again".

I gave her a smile. This was more than I could have hoped for. I wasn't forgiven, but she was giving me a chance. But she had to know it wouldn't be the same anymore. I had changed.

"Barbara, I'm not Robin anymore. I'm not the same person I was before".

Barbara looked at me sadly, "I know. I knew you wouldn't be the same when you came back. But a girl can hope, right? I guess I'm always going to be missing that boy that told me a girl couldn't do what Robin did".

I sighed, "I just don't want you to think that we can't be friends anymore. I am still Dick you know. I'm still that boy inside".

But she just turned away, "No, you're not. You've changed. I can tell. Robin is gone".

- - - -

**I've deviated from the plot of "If Only" because I thought it would be dumb to re-write the whole story in Dick's point of view. So just think of this as a whole new story. Adventures begin next chapter! R&R**

**- Lady Artemis -**


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